They're going to say, "Hey, maybe it was those guys in payroll that forged those checks." They're going to be infuriated if they sense they're wrongly accused throughout the entire course of the interview, not just in flashes; they'll be infuriated throughout the entire course of the interview.And if you ask someone honest what should happen to whomever did forge those checks, an honest person is much more likely to recommend strict rather than lenient punishment.And what a trained interrogator does is they come in and in very subtle ways over the course of several hours, they will ask that person to tell that story backwards, and then they'll watch them squirm, and track which questions produce the highest volume of deceptive tells. We say "yes," we shake our heads "no." We tell very convincing stories, we slightly shrug our shoulders.We commit terrible crimes, and we smile at the delight in getting away with it.Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie. By the time we enter this work world and we're breadwinners, we enter a world that is just cluttered with Spam, fake digital friends, partisan media, ingenious identity thieves, world-class Ponzi schemers, a deception epidemic — in short, what one author calls a post-truth society. Trained liespotters get to the truth 90 percent of the time. Now if he had repeated the question in its entirety, or if he had peppered his account with a little too much detail — and we're all really glad he didn't do that — he would have further discredited himself. Freud said, look, there's much more to it than speech: "No mortal can keep a secret.
And then they're going to tell their story in strict chronological order. We rehearse our words, but we rarely rehearse our gestures.There are going to be times when someone makes one expression while masking another that just kind of leaks through in a flash. Your new joint venture partner might shake your hand, celebrate, go out to dinner with you and then leak an expression of anger.And we're not all going to become facial expression experts overnight here, but there's one I can teach you that's very dangerous and it's easy to learn, and that's the expression of contempt. We make deceptive flailing gestures all over the place all day long. But when you see clusters of them, that's your signal. Also the person sitting in your very seats is a liar. What I'm going to do today is I'm going to show you what the research says about why we're all liars, how you can become a liespotter and why you might want to go the extra mile and go from liespotting to truth seeking, and ultimately to trust building. I watch that TV show ' Lie To Me.' I know you're lying." No, liespotters are armed with scientific knowledge of how to spot deception. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. Well first we heard what's known as a non-contracted denial.So before I get started, what I'm going to do is I'm going to clarify my goal for you, which is not to teach a game of Gotcha. They use it to get to the truth, and they do what mature leaders do everyday; they have difficult conversations with difficult people, sometimes during very difficult times. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you two patterns of deception. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time, never. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Studies show that people who are overdetermined in their denial will resort to formal rather than informal language.See now if you can spot him saying, "yes" while shaking his head "no," slightly shrugging his shoulders.(Video) John Edwards: I'd be happy to participate in one.And boy are we willing to fill in those gaps in our lives with lies. But the real smile's in the eyes, the crow's feet of the eyes.On a given day, studies show that you may be lied to anywhere from 10 to 200 times. But in another study, it showed that strangers lied three times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other. They cannot be consciously contracted, especially if you overdid the Botox.Now, that smile is known in the trade as "duping delight." And we're going to see that in several videos moving forward, but we're going to start — for those of you who don't know him, this is presidential candidate John Edwards who shocked America by fathering a child out of wedlock.We're going to see him talk about getting a paternity test.Now with anger, you've got two people on an even playing field. But when anger turns to contempt, you've been dismissed. And for that reason, it's very, very hard to recover from. It's marked by one lip corner pulled up and in. And in the presence of contempt, whether or not deception follows — and it doesn't always follow — look the other way, go the other direction, reconsider the deal, say, "No thank you. Thank you." Science has surfaced many, many more indicators. Look, listen, probe, ask some hard questions, get out of that very comfortable mode of knowing, walk into curiosity mode, ask more questions, have a little dignity, treat the person you're talking to with rapport.We know, for example, we know liars will shift their blink rate, point their feet towards an exit. Don't try to be like those folks on "Law & Order" and those other TV shows that pummel their subjects into submission. Now, we've talked a little bit about how to talk to someone who's lying and how to spot a lie.Now, I know it seems really obvious, but when you're having a conversation with someone you suspect of deception, attitude is by far the most overlooked but telling of indicators. They're going to show they're on your side. They're going to be willing and helpful to getting you to the truth.