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    Dating advice for me

    Breaking off communication with someone I had nothing in common with, or at least who was missing qualities I was looking for, became easy.Honestly, it was often a relief because there were more first dates waiting and I would be able to remove someone from my list of potentials.Looking back, this only made my dates uncomfortable and left me looking either weird or desperate.When I had multiple dates lined up, I found myself very relaxed on each date.When I was relaxed, there was no “doing better” or “doing worse”. For the rest of us, the biggest part of find that special someone is opportunity.

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    First date failure, whether because she wasn’t what I was looking for or the reverse, was very difficult.Dating in numbers allowed me to make decisions based on what I desired, not based on how lonely I was at that time.It also helped me better define what I was looking for in my profile. Greater Comfort One great side-effect to dating so actively was that I became more comfortable with dating itself.I would continue to date someone negative or rude or conceited and would just hope that things would just eventually “work themselves out”.All this changed when my dating schedule became very active.I still wasn’t the most confident guy (for example, I still wasn’t randomly asking girls out in public) but I was becoming very comfortable on dates, which gave the appearance of confidence. Less Stress With dating multiple women, there was always another first date on the horizon. I lost my hell-bent desire to make every date go perfectly.When the stress lessened, I stopped paying attention to myself and started paying attention to my date.It always felt like starting all over and was always painful.Once I even continued to date a girl just to avoid “starting over”.Better Definition As I went on more and more dates in a short time period, I realized that what I really wanted in a woman and what I had been willing to accept were very different.When I was only meeting one girl a month, there were so many qualities that I didn’t like that I would ignore simply because I didn’t want to have to start all over with someone else.I was discovering which conversations worked better than others and was able to avoid bumps in the conversation all together.The confusion of first-dates was disappearing altogether. I hadn’t even thought that having fun could be a part of online dating but as I grew more comfortable, I had more fun.On one occasion when things were going very poorly, instead of stressing out, I told my date I didn’t think we were a great match but that we could still have fun over dinner.

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