But her having kept this from me for as long as I have known her has made me question that.I don't want to keep bringing this up to her, but I am struggling with it. Upset In The Midwest I think you should get over it, UITM.Let her know you want more than sex, and if she's not interested in something more, you're not interested in her.As for those erectile issues, SWAT, try having sex sober, earlier in the evening, and with someone who doesn't regard your dick as a consolation prize. I am a transgender man, and my girlfriend is a transgender woman, and we have hit a plateau.So long as the summoned person doesn't want anything more than sex from the person issuing the summons, Yahtzee: Everybody gets laid, nobody gets hurt.
I don't know what attracts her to me except maybe I'm her booty call, but recently I have been terrible at it.It was a reasonable assumption on her part, since swapping flirty texts with a stranger is regarded as "out of bounds" by most.While this makes Mary's failure to disclose look a little worse, we live in a culture that defines absolutely everything as cheating—don't get me started on the idiocy that is "micro-infidelities" and the idiots pushing that toxic concept—and as a consequence, people not only lack perspective (oh, to live in a world where everyone regarded harmless flirtation as no big deal! What would you have done if on the third or fourth date, she looked up from her menu and said, "I've been swapping flirty texts with this guy for, oh, the last several years.She didn't want to stop, she didn't know how to talk about it, she hesitated, and... If there's nothing else—if no other shoes drop—give this your retroactive blessing. A few weeks went by, and she always had an excuse as to why we couldn't hang out.Then one night, she texted to say she wanted to see me, but I could tell she was tipsy.(Sadly, due to stress and overwork, I usually can't get hard when I go over.That's become a big issue.) She's very attractive, and I'm surprised she has any interest in me at all, but it's only when she's drunk.The last time we hooked up, she told me she's quitting drinking. My question: Is it worth pursuing this if I get my ED situation fixed?Or should I just move on and if she does contact me one night, I just say, "Sorry, not interested"? But we actually have good conversations despite us both being drunk and it kinda seems like a date of some sort. Summoned With A Text She's interested in you for only one thing (sex) and at only one time (when she's drunk, horny, and out of other options)...While I would be okay if she were doing this and I knew about it, this has been going on since before we met.(We've been together 10 years.) She says she has never met him in person (despite communicating with him for more than a decade!I do not want to snoop and I want to trust her, but I am having a hard time with both.Prior to this, it never occurred to me that Mary would do anything that had a whiff of dishonesty about it.Because what the summoner is essentially saying is this: "I want sex; I don't want you." Even if the sex is good, the rejection that comes bundled in that summons stings and the hurt grows over time.