Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.
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Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.
Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.
Stranger Chat No Login strictly forbids any publish or distribution of pornography or any other kind of adult or sexual content.
ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.