Even so, the presence of someone new, particularly when paraded in front of the spouse and/or children, can enrage the soon-to-be ex, and also create the suspicion that the relationship began as an “affair” before the separation.
The innocent new friend can be deposed by the other side’s lawyer (that is, asked questions that are taken under oath and recorded by a stenographer or even videotaped) and subpoenaed to testify at trial.
Currently, I am using online dating to meet new prospects, though I choose not to date anyone who is going through divorce.
I am divorced and have been for two years and am of the opinion that there is too much other stuff going on in one’s life during a divorce to date, as well.
It wasn’t a question of whether he and his wife were going to divorce – the relationship was toxic, the lawyers were in place, it was definitely over. They were well-matched and perfectly adorable together. You can listen to all these stories, but they won’t inform YOUR situation.
The real concern was whether this guy needed time and space after the demise of his marriage. Here are the three points I’d like you to take away from this blog post: A person who hides his separation online isn’t necessarily a bad person.
There is no distinction between platonic contacts and ones that are romantic or sexual, although from a practical standpoint, the romantic/sexual relationships are the ones that draw scrutiny and cause complications.
Like knowing when to sleep with a guy, this is about intuition, not hard and fast rules.
Seriously, if you are in love with a ‘separated’ man, it’s important to be able to differentiate between a ‘physical separation’ and an ’emotional separation.’ You also need to know the difference between ‘leaving’ a wife and ‘separating’ from her.
A physical separation is obviously leaving a spouse by moving into a separate living space.
But, most likely, because he’s still emotionally reeling from the death of his relationship. It’s not that he didn’t care about her; it’s that he wasn’t ready for another commitment so soon after declaring his bachelorhood….
I wrote about this extensively here, in a post called “When Do You Begin Dating Again After a Long-Term Relationship or Marriage? And you’re certainly not ready to love with reckless abandon. So, Sara, like most situations that stymie my readers, the answer isn’t as obvious as “dump him” or “go for it.” It depends on the man, the nature of his divorce, his emotional availability, and his ability to get in touch with himself.