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    Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Keep your body language open, play with your hair, smile, touch his arm.

    It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story.1. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. But every day I coach women like you through situations they wish they didn't get into.

    More than 30 percent don’t even know where to begin and nearly 30 percent say they find it too stressful (think back to those sweaty palms and awkward conversations.) For more than 40 percent of respondents, other priorities are simply more important, and nearly one-quarter say it’s just too difficult to date when you’re 50-plus. Be the master of the segue if he talks too much, or the conversation swerves into uncomfortable topics. Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self.

    That’s true whether you’re 16 or 56, but more than 40 percent don’t believe there is anyone “out there” to date.

    It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids.

    Steer clear of these topics until you know each other better. Your 25-year-old may want to linger and go down the rabbit hole trying to figure it all out. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack.

    The genre has become a playground for viral videos and inventive sketches that live on past the late hours these shows air.

    Guys like Fallon, Kimmel, and, recently, Corden, are given a license to play because their playgrounds have what could be considered historical landmark status.

    People have wondered whether Tina Fey or Amy Poehler were approached for the gig—which is ridiculous and insulting to them, as they are far too famous and successful to have ever taken it.But drowning out those thoughts is one deafening, rage-inducing, society-shaming one: Is there really not a single goddamned woman in Hollywood they could have hired for this job? We found in Trevor the best person for the job.”That’s comforting, and perhaps refreshing to hear.With an unprecedented wave of turnover on nearly every single late-night talk show, the onus has fallen more severely on each successive one to hire a woman, with our culture becoming increasingly infuriated at the male-dominated genre. After all, the chorus of culture critics crying for a female late-night host isn’t begging for tokenism, or a female hire for the sake of a female hire.—a designation she openly hated and complained about. She politely declined the role she was never offered, tweeting, “Thank you but I am extremely under-qualified for the job!Joan Rivers, then, was the strangest of trailblazers: the kind where no one actually follows her trail. ” (How silly does her “under-qualified” statement look now that Noah, who joined The Daily Show over a year after Williams, got the job?She fired back at those people, asserting that they were denying her of her own agency.There was unfortunate misogyny and patronizing at the underbelly of the attacks against Williams for not “leaning in.” But the root of that might be the fact that any instance of a woman hosting a late-night show since Joan Rivers has occurred because that woman has had to front her own, brand-new show. But she wasn’t wheeled in an office chair behind an existing desk and then given the platform, ratings, existing creative structure, and prestige of the audience that was already sitting there, waiting for her to arrive (a luxury that was afforded Fallon, Meyers, Colbert, Corden, and Noah, as they took over already iconic shows).That’s why amidst the cheers for Comedy Central for hiring a biracial comedian to take over The Daily Show, there’s a competing and perhaps louder groan. The demand stems from the passionate belief that there are qualified female comedians and hosting talent out there who deserve their places behind these patriarchal desks.Each time a woman is passed over, the disappointment cuts deeper. At an age when representation, visibility, and access in entertainment have become not just a goal, but a veritable cultural mandate, it’s starting to seem to those people that there may never be a woman in a prominent position in late-night. In the announcement of Noah’s hiring, Comedy Central president Michele Ganeless told The New York Times, “You don’t hope to find the next Jon Stewart—there is no next Jon Stewart. But that “best person for the job” nonsense is also complete horseshit, and the greatest indicator of the institutional barriers, the institutional laziness, and the institutional cowardice that are forecasting the inevitability that no woman will ever again hold a major position in late-night.In the wake of Monday’s media controversy over a Vanity Fair piece titled “Why Late-Night Television Is Better Than Ever” and its accompanying photo that does not include a single female performer, we thought now would be the perfect occasion to revisit our own piece about the phenomenon.There are happy thoughts galore to be had about Trevor Noah, a fresh-faced, biracial rising comedy star joining and disrupting the ranks of white men in suits as late-night TV’s newest hire: the future replacement for Jon Stewart as host of The Daily Show.In 1986, Joan Rivers became the first woman to host a late-night TV show on a broadcast network. Instead of becoming TV’s first female in late-night success story, she became its cautionary tale. We’re going to play with that puppy you got us for Christmas, but whine that it wasn’t the puppy that we specifically put on our wish list. Specifically, we wanted a woman hosting The Daily Show.In the years since, only one woman would find longevity in late-night, Chelsea Handler, but for her all of her success would always be ghettoized as a gossip monger on E! Not even days had passed after Stewart announced he was leaving the show that a grassroots campaign erupted demanding that Jessica Williams—another fairly new talent for the show—be hired as his replacement.In recent years, Kathy Griffin, Whitney Cummings, and Wanda Sykes have all attempted to replicate a variance of what Chelsea Handler did with Chelsea Lately, fronting their own brand-new shows in late-night and all failing miserably. There are high expectations and swift judgments and, most of all, a dwindling audience to woo.

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